What If Cuffing Season Isn’t For You?

As women who never really had dates or were seen as desirable, it’s hard to think that engaging in “cuffing season” will turn out in your favor.

Sufficiently Black Podcast
2 min readOct 12, 2021
@__dahc on Nappy.co

Winter sucks. And feeling lonely in the winter sucks even more. This is why in society it is common to want to have a relationship for the winter. You want to have a fun summer and lock someone down before the colder months. You want a cuddle buddy and someone to drink hot chocolate with on those winter nights. This is cuffing season: the period from October to March when people desire to be “cuffed up” with someone.

As a young person in the city you feel like you have to engage in cuffing season. Otherwise, that Northeast winter might be a little worse. But when you never felt desired at a young age, it could be hard to put yourself out there and think you will get the result you want.

In this episode, we discuss how growing up as an “Oreo” has led us to not being cuffed during this time. As Black girls growing up in all white schools, we were never seen as desirable or even pretty. We never got asked on a date, no one had a crush on us, we never had a valentine or a date to any dances. When only your white peers are getting attention, it can hurt your confidence. This limited experience in dating also made it hard for us to believe that dating would work in our favor as adults.

It makes us question if participating in cuffing season is for us. Is this cultural phenomenon also linked to seasonal depression and mental health issues? Does cuffing season affect the people in the South? What is the most popular time for relationships to start? When do people tend to download dating apps? In this episode, we stress the importance of knowing both you and your partner’s intentions and expectations before entering a relationship during cuffing season.

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Sufficiently Black Podcast

Rebranded from So-Called Oreos, Sufficiently Black is a show that explores what it means to be comfortable in your Blackness.